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  • Mary Ruth Velicki

Worried About A Loved One?

Updated: May 25, 2021

It can be so difficult to stand beside someone we love when they are hurting. We want them to be safe, healthy, and at peace. We want them to survive. During these times, we may feel afraid, powerless, frustrated, or angry.

Sometimes our friend or family member is suffering mentally and emotionally. Perhaps they are spinning and not solidly standing on their feet, and maybe they are addicted. Instead of being connected to their inner peace, they may be firmly attached to the drama playing out in their bodies, minds, and lives. We might try to control them, or hold them, or chastise them into another way of being, but this rarely changes things.

For these challenging relationships, here are some insights and actions that can help you move forward.

1. Compassion

Difficult relationships have the potential to wrap us up in co-dependency and fear. One of the ways out of this dynamic is to picture yourself standing beside your loved one- separate and grounded. Then, cross over the space between you with thoughts and actions that are life-giving. These actions will change with each circumstance and at different times in your relationship.

Holding another in thought and prayer is powerful. One way to do this is to picture your loved one surrounded by bright white light, and to send out a request that this love/light energizes and supports them through their struggle. This activity is especially helpful when it is not possible or healthy for you to provide physical or emotional support in person.

2. Challenge

We all have human cargo that we inherit, and for some of us this is a heavy load. How we react to the experiences in our lives can also create more for us to carry. We tend to look at these issues as either "good" or "bad" but on a spiritual level all experiences are valuable, and what looks "bad" on the outside may be serving a purpose that we are not aware of. And sometimes, the most harrowing experiences in our lives provide contrast, learning, and growth.

3. Connection

No one is separated from Spirit/Source/God. This creative life force is our very essence, and for this reason it is always possible to open up and become more aware of this love/energy/light. We each get to decide if, when, and how we want to open up to perceive and experience this love.

You can't do this for another person, but you can always make this choice for yourself. As we become more aware of our spiritual nature, it can lighten our load and can bring peace to our lives- no matter what challenge we are facing. Consider taking time to do activities that help you feel grounded and calm, and increase your sense of spiritual connection. If you need some ideas, check out this post: 5 Ways to Increase Spiritual Awareness.

4. Creation

We all have our personal challenges, choices, and consequences, and we can't change these for another person. But we have the power to change them for ourselves. This relationship is one of your challenges in life, and it is also providing you with choices and consequences. Sometimes the toughest times are also the best learning experiences. So consider using this relationship to practice being grounded, to choose thoughts and actions that are life-giving, and to grow in compassion for yourself and for the person you love.

And if the suggestions in this post seem overwhelming ... simply love yourself right there, and that will help you move forward in a more uplifting way. :)

💜For more information to enhance your relationships, consider checking out my book, Healing with Awareness.


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